Monday, March 8, 2010

Something Heavenly...

For a long time I have known God was calling me to something huge, something beyond myself, and I knew it had to do with telling my story. When I applied for the BLAST mentorship program with Shannon Ethridge, I had no idea that I would be chosen to embark on such an incredible journey. But indeed the time has come and so I take a hold of my Jesus’ hand and follow Him... While waiting for this program to start, God began revealing some things to me, and well honestly it wasn’t really what I was expecting...He gently took my face in His hands and whispered to my heart

“Its time my child that you get to the nitty gritty, you have to lay everything out table, it’s has to be all or nothing.” I sat in silence after I heard those words come from the heart and core of my Heavenly Daddy. Because you see I knew what they meant...I knew this journey wasn’t going to be an easy one, and well I have a feeling it’s going to hurt for awhile. He began to show me that it was time to go back…back down memory was time to sift, dig, uncover, and process things that I have endured but more importantly it was time that I heal from them. That in order to effectively be the writer, speaker and Life Coach that He created me to be, I had to allow Him to take me through the walls of my heart that I for so long guarded as “off limits” to everyone including… Him... The dark secrets my of heart’s chambers, once hidden and buried from life’s past...were now going to be exposed...I was sure they were safe there..I am a new person now...I am not her anymore...Is this really necessary? Do I really have to go back? And I heard Him say...

“Yes child...there is no other way... What you see now is only just the beginning...You think you are not her anymore...but apart of you still clings to her because its all you have ever known, all you have given yourself permission to be, and what you have allowed others make you believe you deserve. She indeed will always be a part of you, but in order to move on into the future I have planned for you, you have to understand who she was and how she made you into who you are today even through the grief, shame and guilt...Its time you take a hold of that inner child, teenager, and wounded woman and allow her to teach you things about yourself that only she can.”…

So here I sit, one hand griping the phone receiver, one about to dial the numbers, I take a deep breath and make the call to Restoration Place Ministries and allow the journey of counseling begin, it’s not going to be easy, in fact I am pretty sure this will be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but God has made it clear it is necessary in this process, in my healing, in my transformation…This has proved to be much more than just a writing/speaking program, it has become the beginning of a something beautiful, and one day all of heaven will watch in excitment.. as I walk out on that ledge and lift my head high with confidence, spread my wings of beauty as I watch the chains of my past crumble to the ground and for the first time I will be able to shout with joy..I am FREE!!

” But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

This song has never touched my life and heart as much as it does right now, and through the chaos of emotions I choose to surrender because I know that my Daddy is up to something oh so Heavenly!!


  1. praying for and with you, sweet thing!

  2. I am SO excited for you and can tell you that although the narrow path is hard, the freedom is worth it and oh so glorious!

    Love how God brought us together; and I am thrilled to be able to witness your journey into God's arms in all things.