Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Embracing a NEW Season...

When God first called me to this thing called homeschooling, My oldest daughter Morgan was 5 and she was in Kindergarten at a local public school.

 I ignored that call for the entire year because I was certain it was just NOT for me. But God is so patient and kept persuing my heart until I finally said “Ok, if you want me to homeschool then YOU are going to have to change my heart and give me a desire to do this because its just  not there.”

He answered that prayer and I  began homeschooling Morgan and then began to homeschool her sister and two brothers.

 It has been an adventure like no other. Ups and downs, struggles, triumpths, life lessons, joy, frustration, impatience, giggles, and so much more.

Homeschooling has taught me what it means to live my life dependant upon my God because without Him there is no way I could do this day in and day out. I am no supermom, I don’t have a magical cape hanging my closet and most days everything does not get done. I fail and ask forgiveness daily. I am so thankful His mercy is new every morning.

 I honestly had no idea what I was signing up for when I finally said Yes to that call. But I remember making a promise to God, A promise that I didn't  fully understand at the time...

 I promised Him that I would homeschool my children until He called me to do otherwise.

And in MY plans that would be until they graduated high school. I wrote those plans in my heart and carried them around with me and committed to them. I was in this for the long haul and was happy and content with those plans.

Then something shifted.  A restlessness began down in my spirit. And a new season started to emerge. 
The Lord began reminding me that “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps” and MY plans weren’t HIS plans in this season of our lives.

 This girl of mine. She is so full of spunk, energy, and she lights up a room the minute she walks into it. Everyone loves her and wants to be around her. For the past 13 years of her life I have helped her learn new things, cried with her when she has struggled and laughed with her until our sides hurt. I have stood helpless by her hospital bed as she fought for life. I have watched as she learns how to love God and love other people. I have watched her grow into such a beautiful young woman so full of life and love to give.

I have also began to watch her struggle with finding her own way, standing in her own faith, discovering who she is in this world and what things interest her and what makes her come alive.  I have seen this little girl of mine turn into a woman right before my very eyes. And as a mother that is both a scary and beautiful time.

  I am so thankful for this beautiful gift of being able to really SEE my children. And hear their hearts cry. To be able to dig deep and make tough decisions and to step aside and allow God to use them in this world for His purposes and His glory.

And today began that new journey for Morgan...

Words can’t describe how my heart feels in this moment. It was so easy to say I trusted God with my children when I know where they are and what they doing 99% of the time. But now? In this moment as I prepare to watch her walk through those doors into the unknown…

 My mind and heart is full of so many emotions and questions. Is she going to be ok? How will she deal with peer pressure? Will she make the right decisions? Will she choose the right friends?

And the answer I received from heaven was a hard one for my momma heart to bear.

"Morgan will make mistakes, she will fail and she will do the wrong thing sometimes. But as her mother you have to learn to give her that choice. You have to give her the room to grow and learn to make those hard choices and find HER faith in the midst of them.

You have poured my love into her and prepared her for this day and now I need you to allow me to use her for my glory and purposes even when it hurts and doesn’t make sense to you. I need you to trust me..”


Oh my heart.

I know God has such incredible plans for Morgan. He has a mission for her behind those doors and it is in this moment that I am truly learning what it means to fully trust Him to guide her, protect her, love her and use her for His glory and purposes.

And as I look back on this beautiful journey, I am so honored to have had the privilege of homeschooling Morgan for the past 7 years and even more blessed that I get to be this incredible young woman's mother.

And I am ready to embrace this new season of our lives that are sure to be full of new things, challenges, struggles, heartache, laughter and growth. And through it all this one thing will remain...

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

 You are faithful, God, You are faithful”

*If for some reason the video isnt working click on this link to watch*

Just as He was before, He will be Faithful to protect her, guide her, help her and love her on this new journey. Never once will he leave her or allow her to walk on her own. He is her Abba Father. And His plans are ALWAYS good. So very good.


* We have also applied for Maddie and Mason to attend SCA in the fall. And will know in March if they have been accepted. Please keep our family in your prayers as we adjust to so many new changes. My heart is breaking. But I am constanly being reminded that God is so very faithful and HIS plans are good.*