Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Switching Gears;)

Take a hold of my hand as I lead you with me into the Fields of the Fatherless, hold on tight as my adventure with the Lord, isn’t one that is for the faint at heart, nope buckle your seatbelts kids, this is gonna be a wild ride! My journey starts back in September when I came across the Caroline’s Promise website, the overwhelming burning in my heart let me know I needed to contact her, little did I know what God had up His sleeve..Meeting Lisa was lifechanging, she had this passion for orphans that I had never seen before, and it was through her that God began to speak to my own heart, about His burden for the fatherless and asked me to join with Him in this journey. My first step in that journey was the Survivor Guatemala contest that Wbfj hosted, I prayed and allowed God to write my story, because honestly I had no idea what to write, this was God’s idea afterall;) And then I find out that I have made it to the top ten! My reply to God was ummmm ok God now what? Are you really going to send me on a mission trip? Seriously though…Me? Lol And in that still small voice of the Lord, I heard child do you trust me? And so my journey continued..

I didn’t win the contest but what God opened my eyes to through this contest, still blows me away..I wanted to know more about orphans and prayed that God would give me His heart and burden for them..and what He said to my heart forever opened my eyes..He said Amanda I can’t give you my heart and burden for them..because if I did it would overwhelm and consume you. I will give you just what you need to fulfill the purpose I have placed on your life.. And so He has…I have been disturbed by the Lord on this issue and my life will never be the same, My normal day to day activities are forever filled with images of those that have no home, no family, no HOPE…I have stared into the eyes of orphans, and what stared back at me will haunt me for the rest of my life. They are empty vessels where no joy, peace, or love reside there..just a cold empty shell, they have guarded their hearts from loving because it just hurts to much to feel…Can you hear their cries? Screams? Can you feel their loneliness? Abandonment? Pain? As Christians we don’t have to choice whether we hear the cry of the orphans. "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." James 1:27 God isn’t saying if you feel like hearing the cries of fatherless then you have the option to join with Him to take care of them, no He commands us as His children, those that bear His name to take care of those that are so close to His heart, He wants to give us His ears to hear their cries and His heart to feel their pain and through that He wants to use us to go bodly into the fields of the fatherless to bring them hope..His hope..hope that will forever change their lives..and yours..if you allow it..

I have fell before the throne of my King, and cried out to Him, telling him to send me wherever, that I was ready to go..and that leads me back to Guatemala..I continued on that journey because I felt that is where the Lord was leading..that is until last weekend..On April 24th I received a email from Lisa, stating that I needed half of my money for the trip by that Sunday, I was devastated as I surely thought the money was coming in, and I sent a message back to her asking her to pray because I wasn’t sure what God was doing..I crawled up in the lap of my Heavenly Father, asking why this wasn’t working out..I thought I was suppose to go..and through His warm embrace He child its only Friday..Sunday is Coming;)…Oh how I was about to find out just what God meant through that simple yet powerful statement! On my way to my mission trip meeting Saturday evening, I prayed that God would show me if I was to continue on the journey to Guatemala or if wanted me to go somewhere else and that I surrendered my will to Him, that I didn’t want to go on any mission trip, I wanted to go where God was leading...And as I sat in that meeting, I felt so disconnected from the I was there but I really wasn’t..and as they were all talking about their ideas..I had nothing to give..My heart cried out to God, where is my place here? Why do you need me in Guatemala? And I began to feel the lord closing the door to Guatemala and it broke my heart..I left there a mess and cried all the way home, I just couldn’t understand why all this was happening and what all of it meant.

It was then that God began to remind me of something I had read in the book called “Strength of Mercy” where the Lord sends this couple on an amazing journey into the fields of the fatherless where they find their baby girl..At first though He sends them a picture of one child and uses that child to prepare there hearts, to open their eyes and to allow them to learn to trust Him with their plans and to direct their steps, and when He closes that door on them adopting that child, He whispers to their soul, you can’t dwell on this, because I have showed you this child to prepare your heart for another one. And I felt the Lord reminding me of this and giving me peace, that Guatemala was my”first baby” It was what He used to open my eyes and light the fire inside for orphans..I sent Lisa a email explaining how I was feeling and how I felt the Lord was closing the door to Guatemala to open a new door…. Africa..And I just wanted her to pray that God would give me something to confirm it and give me peace..After I sent the email..I opened up my daily devotion that sits on my desk and God could'nt have spoken anymore clearly to my heart, so clear that it nearly knocked me out of my chair! This is what I read “ Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland” Isaiah 43:19 WOW Loud and clear the Lord was saying Amanda I know you are disappointed and heartbroken that I have shut the door to Guatemala but you can’t dwell on the past, because I am doing a new thing Africa! It has already sprung up in your heart, can’t you already see it?? And I am already there paving a way in the desert and wasteland!! Just as the Lord had spoke to that couple in the book, He was speaking to me now! Ahhh when God speaks He speaks!;)

I have known for awhile that the Lord was going to send me to Africa..The Lord is pulling my heart towards there and it grows more unbearable as everyday passes, so much so that if the Lord were to say Amanda, pack up everything and move your family to Africa to be full time missionaries there we would and not look back! Just hearing the name Africa, my heart leaps and overflows with burden. Its not just that I want to go to Africa, its that I have to go or the fire inside my heart and soul for Africa will consume me. There is hidden treasures in Africa that the Lord is calling me there to find, and I am not sure if Africa needs me so much as I believe the Lord is calling me there because I need Africa. I received a email back from Lisa that Sunday night and she replied that she too felt the Lord was shutting the door to Guatemala, and let me know that Caroline’s Promise was going to Uganda….but that they were'nt planning there first mission trip there till the fall of 2010..I admit I was bummed as I am ready to go now..but surrendered my will once again to the Lord, and said if that’s when you want me to go then I will wait Lord..I submit to your plans. "We can gather our thoughts, but the LORD gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their motives. Commit your work to the LORD, and then your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:1-3, "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps" Proverbs 16:9 I knew my plans what my plans were and I knew my motives were right in wanting to go on a mission trip..but until they were lined up with the Lords plan, I didn't want any part of it..

I was willing to wait and laid my hearts desire at His feet and asked ok Lord whats next.. And the Lord once again answered;)…I had a few weeks earlier requested a packet about starting a girls GEMS group, and well the packet had arrived in my mailbox..and what I found when I opened it, drew me to my knees! Tucked inside the folder just beaming at me, was a little African orphan girl..and James 1:27 written across the top and on the back in big bold letters was The call to Africa, there is so much waiting to be done! As I am reading the flyer..I noticed that they were building a school there for these orphans..and the name of it is The Esther school..ok your wondering whats the big deal? Well let me tell you;)…That very morning I felt intrigued to read the whole book of Esther as God has revealed to me that I resemble off I went into the incredible journey of Esther and what an awesome book that is! And here I was reading the flyer that came out of the blue and clearly the school of Esther was staring back at me! And confirming in my soul that My God was up to something HUGE!

And so now my journey begins towards I know exactly when I will be going? Nope..Do I know what exactly what I will be doing when I get there? Nope..But one thing I know for certain..My God is directing my steps and is there making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland..And I trust Him with everything I have.. and know that God is the one that has taken me on this journey into the fields of the fatherless and I fall before the King, surrendering my all and give Him my life to use however He wants. And as my friend reminded me yesterday in Philippians that Jesus was able to sleep during a storm because He had the perfect peace that His father was in control..I too can walk boldly in my calling even in the uncertain times because I know who is in control..He won’t guide me or lead me anywhere that He is'nt already there For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11...And so once again I crawl up in my Heavenly Daddy's lap and ask Him ..whats next daddy? And He whispered… my child..hold on and hold on tight..its gonna be a wild ride!!;)