Thursday, January 1, 2009

Hidden Treasures;)

God has been laying adoption on my heart for quite sometime, I remember attending the Steven Curtis Chapman Christmas Tour Concert and listening to him talk about adoption and once he began to sing the song “All I want for Christmas is a family” I was moved to tears and I knew that someday my family will welcome a child or children into our home in the form of adoption. And then after the Survivor Guatemala contest God opened my eyes on a whole new level to the orphans of this world.. God has been speaking to more adamantly lately about adopting. Let me back up so you will understand why I feel this way. I heard a story recently from Lisa Kertchal from Proverbs 31 Ministries and she spoke about how she went to this church and heard these orphan boys from Liberia sing and God spoke to her heart that two of those boys were hers and how God chased her until she finally surrendered and embraced Gods heart on adoption and became the mother of those two boys, and after this program was over the radio announcer mentioned that the Daraja Children’s Choir from Africa was coming to my area, and I heard God whisper to my heart I want you to go to this, I have something for you…

I was so eager to go so I decided to pack up the kids and drive alone in the rain, at NIGHT. Which if you know me this was not the best decision, I have absolutely no sense of direction and I am blind as a bat at night..So needless to say I got lost and panicked! Lol I called my husband crying and begging for him to help me as I could sense the panic coming over me as I was scared to death that I would never find my way home..He assured me that it would be fine and THEN..I hit a patch of water that made the car hydroplane and yep that did it..I could feel my body get cold and my lips and hands go numb and everything was getting very white, I was about to have a panic attack on I-85 in the pouring rain at night with three kids in the car! I told my husband I had to go and threw the phone down and I praise God my two youngest children were asleep but my oldest daughter Morgan proved to be a mighty prayer warrior that night as she prayed for us to find our way back home and that the anxiety that was overtaking mommy would be broken and my baby girl prayed to her Jesus so hard that night and God so listened to my baby girls prayers and answered them, because we did find our way home safe and sound;)

I was so bummed that I didn’t get to see this choir that I so felt like God wanted me to see..And then I went on the website and seen that they were performing at a church an hour and half away from my house on a Saturday night and I told my husband that we were going..I didn’t care how far away it was and that I didn’t understand completely why we were going but God wants us there and so he agreed we packed up the kids and traveled an hour and half to witness nothing short of a miracle;) All the way there I just had butterflies, you know the kind you get when you about to see your child be born? Yep that’s the same ones I was having…I was overwhelmed with this feeling and had no idea what God was up to..We arrived at this Baptist church and walked in and sat among many waiting patiently to see these children sing..And then I heard the sweetest sound of these amazing children chanting in their own eyes filled up with tears as these children walked up on stage and to watch them sing praises to God with such joy and love even through unimaginable circumstances they have endured just crushed me with humility. I could feel the Holy Spirit tugging on my heart throughout the program. He whispered to my soul you will adopt two children from Africa..

My husband though was not so sure on the way there..He enjoys his life of simplicity and wasn’t too comfortable with the idea that God could be calling us to adopt an African child..So I prayed God please call his heart..Make him see with your eyes tonight..And I remember looking over at him many times throughout the program and just seeing the love in his eyes for those children and knew that God was at work! After the program was over..My husband looks at me and with tears in his eyes and says I believe we are going to adopt from Africa! Umm yea I stood there with the deer in the headlights look for what felt like eternity and kept looking at this man wondering what he done with my husband! lol still in shock I put the childrens coats on and we walked to the car..Once inside the chaos of the car.. I have three small children and it’s late and they are tired, hungry and well just kids haha..And in the midst of it my husband says to me…are you going back in? flustered I reply for what?

He says I am not sure but I feel like God is telling me to tell you to go back in..So I sigh and say ok I need to use the bathroom anyway lol..So I grabbed the girls and we rush back inside the crowd and make our way into the restroom and while I am waiting on my children to finish..I make a plea to God..I said God please show me why we are here and what it is we are supposed to do..Please God do something..And then we walk out to wash our hands and I turn around from drying the girl’s hands and there she stands leaning against the sink..Just gazing at me..My heart leaped..And I didn’t know what to do! One minute I was praying for God to do something and in a matter of seconds my prayer was answered! And in a still small voice I heard “speak to her” Fumbling with my words I managed to get out a Hi...Her eyes just lit up with joy and was then nudged to give her a hug and told her she done a great job and this little precious child just snuggled herself into me and in the most precious voice I have ever heard said “thank you”..

My heart was racing as I introduced her to my girls and she just smiled and just kept looking at us with this look I can’t even begin to describe, it was as if she was speaking with her heart asking me to take her home..I couldn’t believe what was happening but I so knew God was up to something!!..I then told her to have a wonderful night and then she smiled and said byee. I couldn’t make it back to the car fast enough! I told my husband what happened and he just looked at me with amazement in his eyes..We were both blown away at what we just witnessed..And we both prayed God if this is your will for us then make it clearly known..Like He hadn’t already, but you know us humans we just have to be SURE haha..And so God continued to speak, on the way home we heard a song on the radio and in the middle of the song the same sweet childrens choir we just witnessed began to once again pour out their hearts and my eyes once again filled with tears and the ride home was that of a quiet one as neither me nor my husband really knew what to say. At church the next morning I was asked to step in to serve with the two year old children, I normally teach the 4 year olds but went eagerly to minister to these little ones and as the class began the teacher began to read the children a story about Africa! Oh trust me God was so not done there hehe! I then went into service with my husband and during meet and greet me and my husband turned around to come face to face with a couple from Africa and who possessed the same accent as those amazing children we had seen the night before!

And so we went humbly to the throne of God and said ok Lord, we accept your call of adoption in our lives but we cried out to God that we don’t have the resources to make this happen, our house is just too small, our car won't hold anymore children and the income my husband makes is just enough to support our family of 5… How can this work? Where is the house, the car, the money going to come from to fulfill this purpose?? But I heard God whisper to my heart..just trust me me….

We have wanted to buy a house for awhile now, but every time we have tried , God in some way has continued to shut the door and made it clear that He has a different plan for us... And my husband God bless him, kept making the comment that God was going to give us a house..And my response was always YEA RIGHT lol UNTIL…

Thanksgiving day I was going to drop off a Photo Cd for one of the ministers of my church, I had done his gorgeous families pictures and wanted them to have it in time to make their Christmas cards, so I let her know that I would be there..and she gave me the directions, and on my way I I reach the house development I was shocked these houses were huge! I had no idea they lived there and honestly my flesh was a little irritated..and I was like is this where our tithe money goes? Yea I know I thought it lol..little did I know what God was about to do for my heart..I walked up and knocked on the door and she answered and we began talking and I mentioned how gorgeous her house was..and tears began to fill her eyes..and she said Amanda God did this..she began to tell me that her husband’s parents gave them this house for free, that there was no way they could afford to live there, that she never in a million years dreamed she would ever live in a house like that, but that God always provides..I then heard God whisper..Amanda what I have done for them, I can do for you trust me? It took everything I had not to bust out crying right there on her doorstep..I held them back until I got in the car! It was then that I said ok God I trust you! I don’t know how you are going to give us a house but I believe you! I know that you will provide for what we need!

..I kept thinking about the idea..and kept replying back that’s just crazy..there is no way you can just give house!! Why would you do that??? And then He gave me a glimpse....

I could hear their laughter, I could hear their feet running through the hallways, I could see the excitement in their eyes , I could feel the warmth of their hugs, and I heard them call me MOM.. I could see the day that I could hold their sweet faces in my hand and say God gave us this house for you so you could have a home and a family…

God has put such a passion and desire in my heart for the orphans of this world, that I have spent endless nights watching adoption you tube videos and flipping through endless pictures of orphan children, I have cried myself to sleep thinking of all these children around the world with no one to tell them goodnight, I love you, no one to hold them, rock them, kiss them, just be their mom, my heart aches and I have given my heart and my dreams to God, I want my motherhood story to be one that reaches to the ends of the earth and brings as many orphans children into our care as God sees fit! What an incredible feeling it is to know that the same feeling I got when I was expecting my biological children I am feeling now , its as if I waiting for those special children that God created just for me and my family to love, cherish and to raise in His word are out their somewhere and I can’t wait for the day I can finally meet them and bring them home!!

God wants to do an incredible work through us and I truly believe He is going to give every resource we need!I will admit though I hadn't told a lot of people about our decision to adopt and even less people about God’s crazy idea that He was going to give us a house but the people I did tell..Wasn't as encouraging as I would have hoped they would be..and well it discouraged me..and my heart was hurting and I began to second guess what I had thought God was calling me and my husband to do..UNTIL... and God nudged me to read it a friend's of mines blog and as I scrolled down there it was..The entry titled " "What God can do with a dream in 5 years" The words just spoke so deeply to my heart and soul..and then I got to the song.." Never Give Up" and it felt as though God himself was singing those words to my heart and I was moved into a blubbery mess of tears…I know there is a call inside my heart and I know that my family has been called to adopt, and I know and believe that God will provide us with all the resources to make it happen, even the crazy idea of Him giving us a house!! Is it still crazy out of this world idea?? Yes!! lol but then again I belong to a Out of this world God! And if it all made sense it wouldn't take faith to believe it right? So my family is clinging to the scripture " Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for the proof of what is not seen" Hebrews 11:1 And I boldly say let the journey of Adoption begin!;)

I believe that we all have hidden treasures tucked away inside us waiting to be discovered...its that treasure that sets your heart on fire, that passion that will consume you until you step out on it..My treasure is to reclaim hope for orphans of this world, to use my gifts and talents to change but a small portion of the world..

Whats your hidden treasure? what is it that sets your heart on fire? Its time to fall before our King and ask Him how He can use YOU to change the world...