When God first called me to this thing called homeschooling,
My oldest daughter Morgan was 5 and she was in Kindergarten at a local public
school.
I ignored that call for the entire year because I was
certain it was just NOT for me. But God is so patient and kept persuing my
heart until I finally said “Ok, if you want me to homeschool then YOU are going
to have to change my heart and give me a desire to do this because its
just not there.”
He
answered that prayer and I began
homeschooling Morgan and then began to homeschool her sister and two
brothers.
Homeschooling has taught me what it means to live my life
dependant upon my God because without Him there is no way I could do this day
in and day out. I am no supermom, I don’t have a magical cape hanging my closet and most days everything
does not get done. I fail and ask forgiveness daily. I am so thankful His mercy is
new every morning.
I honestly had no idea what I was signing up for when I finally said Yes to that call. But I remember making a promise to God, A promise that I didn't fully understand at the time...
I promised Him that
I would homeschool my children until He called me to do otherwise.
And in MY plans that would be until they graduated high
school. I wrote those plans in my heart and carried them around with me and committed
to them. I was in this for the long haul and was happy and content with those
plans.
Then something shifted. A restlessness began down in my spirit. And a new season started to emerge.
The Lord began reminding me that “In
their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps”
and MY plans weren’t HIS plans in this season of our lives.
I have also began to watch her struggle with finding her own way,
standing in her own faith, discovering who she is in this world and what things interest her
and what makes her come alive. I have
seen this little girl of mine turn into a woman right before my very eyes. And
as a mother that is both a scary and beautiful time.
And today began that new journey for Morgan...
Words can’t describe how my heart feels in this moment. It
was so easy to say I trusted God with my children when I know where they are
and what they doing 99% of the time. But now? In this moment as I prepare to watch her
walk through those doors into the unknown…
My mind and heart is
full of so many emotions and questions. Is she going to be ok? How will she
deal with peer pressure? Will she make the right decisions? Will she choose the
right friends?
And the answer I received from heaven was a hard one for my momma heart to bear.
"Morgan will make mistakes, she will fail and she will do
the wrong thing sometimes. But as her mother you have to learn to give her
that choice. You have to give her the room to grow and learn to make those hard
choices and find HER faith in the midst of them.
You have poured my love into her and prepared her for this
day and now I need you to allow me to use her for my glory and
purposes even when it hurts and doesn’t make sense to you. I need you to trust
me..”
Oh my heart.
I know God has such incredible plans for Morgan. He has a mission
for her behind those doors and it is in this moment that I am truly learning
what it means to fully trust Him to guide her, protect her, love her and use
her for His glory and purposes.
And as I look back on this beautiful journey, I am so honored to have had the privilege of homeschooling Morgan for the past 7 years and even more blessed that I get to be this incredible young woman's mother.
And I am ready to embrace this new season of our lives that are sure to be full of new things, challenges, struggles, heartache, laughter and growth. And through it all this one thing will remain...
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful”
*If for some reason the video isnt working click on this link to watch*
Just as He was before, He will be Faithful to protect her, guide her, help her and
love her on this new journey. Never once will he leave her or allow her to walk
on her own. He is her Abba Father. And His plans are ALWAYS good. So very good.
Amen.
* We have also applied for Maddie and Mason to attend SCA in the fall. And will know in March if they have been accepted. Please keep our family in your prayers as we adjust to so many new changes. My heart is breaking. But I am constanly being reminded that God is so very faithful and HIS plans are good.*
* We have also applied for Maddie and Mason to attend SCA in the fall. And will know in March if they have been accepted. Please keep our family in your prayers as we adjust to so many new changes. My heart is breaking. But I am constanly being reminded that God is so very faithful and HIS plans are good.*
~Amanda
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