Something Heavenly...

For a long time I have known God was calling me to something huge, something beyond myself, and I knew it had to do with telling my story. When I applied for the BLAST mentorship program with Shannon Ethridge, I had no idea that I would be chosen to embark on such an incredible journey. But indeed the time has come and so I take a hold of my Jesus’ hand and follow Him... While waiting for this program to start, God began revealing some things to me, and well honestly it wasn’t really what I was expecting...He gently took my face in His hands and whispered to my heart

“Its time my child that you get to the nitty gritty, you have to lay everything out table, it’s has to be all or nothing.” I sat in silence after I heard those words come from the heart and core of my Heavenly Daddy. Because you see I knew what they meant...I knew this journey wasn’t going to be an easy one, and well I have a feeling it’s going to hurt for awhile. He began to show me that it was time to go back…back down memory lane...it was time to sift, dig, uncover, and process things that I have endured but more importantly it was time that I heal from them. That in order to effectively be the writer, speaker and Life Coach that He created me to be, I had to allow Him to take me through the walls of my heart that I for so long guarded as “off limits” to everyone including… Him... The dark secrets my of heart’s chambers, once hidden and buried from life’s past...were now going to be exposed...I was sure they were safe there..I am a new person now...I am not her anymore...Is this really necessary? Do I really have to go back? And I heard Him say...

“Yes child...there is no other way... What you see now is only just the beginning...You think you are not her anymore...but apart of you still clings to her because its all you have ever known, all you have given yourself permission to be, and what you have allowed others make you believe you deserve. She indeed will always be a part of you, but in order to move on into the future I have planned for you, you have to understand who she was and how she made you into who you are today even through the grief, shame and guilt...Its time you take a hold of that inner child, teenager, and wounded woman and allow her to teach you things about yourself that only she can.”…

So here I sit, one hand griping the phone receiver, one about to dial the numbers, I take a deep breath and make the call to Restoration Place Ministries and allow the journey of counseling begin, it’s not going to be easy, in fact I am pretty sure this will be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but God has made it clear it is necessary in this process, in my healing, in my transformation…This has proved to be much more than just a writing/speaking program, it has become the beginning of a something beautiful, and one day all of heaven will watch in excitment.. as I walk out on that ledge and lift my head high with confidence, spread my wings of beauty as I watch the chains of my past crumble to the ground and for the first time I will be able to shout with joy..I am FREE!!


” But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

This song has never touched my life and heart as much as it does right now, and through the chaos of emotions I choose to surrender because I know that my Daddy is up to something oh so Heavenly!!

I surrender All...

My mind drifts to the hymn when I hear those words, I am sure many of us have sung it but I wonder how many of us have sung it and actually stopped to realize the words that were actually being spoken from our lips and what exactly was taking place once those lyrics reached God’s heart, does He in return look back at us and say are you really surrendering all? …I am sure this goes for all of us. There is always some part of our lives that we just can’t give it all to God and trust Him to have control of it. But what I felt the need to talk about in this entry is..Children..The average family in America today has a family consisting of 4 to 5 members and that’s including the parents. Now most of you would say 3 kids that’s enough for 2 parents to handle who needs anymore..I have three kids and for awhile I couldn’t have agreed with you more..There was a time that I would hear others reply ahh we have enough children we are done..Or people using contraceptives to make sure they don’t become pregnant..

And honestly I never thought twice about the comments or decisions. That was until God began to give me His heart on this…and honestly now when I heart those comments I cringe, because its almost as if we have placed ourselves in a position to say ok God I trust you with everything but the kid part...that part I get to choose and call the shots ok? Do we seriously think that flies in heaven? Does God really look down and say with a smile oh ok I didn’t really need that part of your life anyway.. When God asks us to surrender all..I am going to take a leap here and say I think He means ALL.. ..I know I can already hear the reasons of why this part of our lives just has to be off limits to the surrendering part..Trust me I get it..As a woman we desire “me” time whether that be hanging out with a girlfriend for coffee, a new outfit or a hobby that we really enjoying doing..And of course we can’t forget our desire to keep up our womanly figures;)..We don’t want to sacrifice “our” time. I totally hear you ladies, and when God began calling my heart on this, trust me He heard a few whines or two..Or three ha;) But I knew without a doubt what He was speaking to my heart was the truth and I had to make a choice to listen and obey and to decide to follow Him or the voices of the world on this.

The voices of the world have made us believe that children are a curse and the more you have the worse things will be, you’ll never be able to take care of them (how many times have we said oh we just can’t “afford” another child) As Christians I believe we are doing God an injustice and totally disobeying Him when we buy into that lie. We are staring God in the face and saying I don’t want anymore children because you know I just don’t trust that you will provide for their needs…hmm that makes it sting when we hear it that way huh? So what exactly does God say about this? In Genesis 9:7 “As for you be fruitful and multiply, populate the earth abundantly and multiply in it.” Psalm 127:3-5 “ Behold children are a gift of the Lord , the fruit of the womb is a reward like arrows in the head of a warrior , so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man, whose quiver is full of them, they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate”…God chooses to reward us with children..Not curse us..So why don’t we accept it that way?

Take a breath this is gonna hurt….But maybe because we live in a selfish society were its all about us and “our” time and meeting “our” needs? We think our standards are God standards, that to answer this call our lives then we have to have tons of money...did we forget who Jesus parents were? That we have to provide them with a huge house.umm did we forget where Jesus was born and where He slept? That children just cost to much( clothes, toys, extracurricular activities etc)But is it really the children who cost too much or is it us the parents who have bought into this false image of what a family really looks like..Jesus didn’t come to give us the American dream..He came to give us Life..And to help us build a legacy and I believe that starts through our children..And if we all really took the time to simplify our lives and allow God to teach us how to raise our children we would began to realize that they really are a reward and a blessing. I think of the TLC family the Duggars when I see a family who has answered this call on their lives..Isn’t it amazing how so many of us will tune into their show watch it and then turn it off and never for a second think that God is calling us to make the same commitment to Him??..They are no different than the next family who steps up and takes a step of faith and says God I commit to you how many children we are to have, God didn’t just call the Duggars folks..He has called all of us who belong to Him to commit this part of our lives to Him..God desires to find faithful people of this day. And when He does there is no stopping His hand upon their lives!..But it requires us taking that first step of faith and trusting God with the rest….”Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” Hebrews 11:1

As for me and my family we will serve the Lord and we choose to commit and surrender this part of our lives to Him..anyone else ready to join us and choose to do the same?:)

Here I am Lord..SEND ME!!!

THE PROBLEM:




WHY ITS IMPORTANT:


What GOD thinks about orphans:


God calls us to be instruments of justice for orphans...

Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother; and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor. (Zechariah 7:9b-10b)




God calls us to love and to care for orphans...

Learn to do good; Seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow. (Isaiah 1:17)

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27)

When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not go over it again; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow. (Deuteronomy 24:21)




God blesses those who are obedient to care for the needs of orphans...

When you reap your harvest in your field and have forgotten a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow, in order that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. (Deuteronomy 24:19)

For when the ear heard, it called me blessed, and when the eye saw, it gave witness of me, because I delivered the poor who cried for help, and the orphan who had no helper. The blessing of the one ready to perish came upon me, and I made the widow's heart sing for joy. (Job 29:11-13)


THE PLAN OF ACTION:

God has placed a piece of Uganda in my heart and I long for there with everything inside me, I don't just want to go, I HAVE to go or this aching in my heart will surely consume me!! The Lord has opened that door for me to travel to Uganda this fall (Sept 26th -October 5th 09)with an AMAZING organization that has a heart to reclaim hope for orphans... Carolines Promise (http://www.carolinespromise4u.org/index.htm) We will be ministering to the orphans and widows there through various resources (including food, children's activities, medical assistance etc)

HOW CAN YOU GET INVOLVED?

*Prayers!!
Not only for me but for the many orphans and widows not just in Uganda but all over the world! God moves when His children PRAY!!

* Become a child sponsor, you can make a HUGE difference the life of a child by becoming a sponsor..visit these websites for more information

http://www.hopechest.org/

http://www.compassion.com/default.htm




* Partner with me financially as I take my step into the mission field of Uganda!!

Click the button below to donate towards my trip to Uganda!! Your donations are so greatly appreciated and May the Lord Bless you as you give!!

Sweet Reunion...

I experienced the worst feeling in my life tonight as I frantically paced through the isles of Wal-Mart in search of my daughter Morgan, she had been just one aisle away and now she was nowhere to be found, I felt the anxiety coming over my body as every horrific senearo possible raced through my mind. I kept pleading oh God please don’t let this be happening, please bring her back to me! Through panic and tears I pleaded with someone to please help me find my little girl! I could hear Code Adam alarming over the intercom and realized this was really happening to me, it suddenly became personal, how many times do we hear that a child is missing and dismiss it because its not our child? I could feel my body becoming weak and things around me were getting blurry as my body was going into shock at the thought that my baby was gone. This just can’t be happening..Please God I pleaded again…And I heard the most precious words I could ever hear..We found her!! My heart leaped and when my eyes met hers I just ran..Ran as fast as I could to her..I have never been so excited and relieved to see my daughter than I was in that moment. The expression on her face was one of confusion..You see Morgan didn’t even realize she was lost. I had told her to get her brother a toy to ease his tantrums which was one aisle over in the baby dept..But in Morgan’s mind she thought I meant in the toy dept on the other side of the store!..So all along Morgan thought she was right where she was suppose to be, that was until an employee approached her and asked if she was lost..Morgan replied umm I don’t think so..After telling the lady what her name was, the lady oh yes her mother is looking for you!..Through this ordeal I could hear my Heavenly Father speaking to my heart. Through the frantic search for her I could hear God whispering this is how I feel..This is my heart to those that are mine, that are wandering and lost, the way you feel right is now is how I feel towards them. I search frantically for them, I leave everything to search for them to seek them out,and the horrible images that you seen, I see too..I see what they will endure if I can't bring them back to Me.... and when the moment comes that my eyes meet there’s, I run to them just as you ran to her. They are out there just as she was, not even realizing they are lost, thinking they are right where they are suppose to be..That is until someone approaches them and lets them know indeed their Daddy has been searching for them! And as followers of Jesus we are that someone..We need to take the time to ask the simple words..Are you lost? And then assure them that yes indeed your Daddy is looking for you and oh what a sweet and precious reunion it will be!!

HIS Church..

As Christians what do we normally do on Sundays? Most of us would answer we “go” to church right? And when we arrive we put our children in Sunday school and we listen to sermons that teach us what we should be doing as His children. Then most of us leave and say wow that was a good message and some of us may even think about it for awhile before the distraction of what’s for lunch enters our minds and we are back entertaining thoughts that center only around us. Is this what Jesus meant for His church? Does anyone else other than me think we are missing the point? Missing what Jesus meant when He called us to be His church? Did he mean for it to become a building where His children come and keep the pews warm? Where we listen to message after message and hear what Jesus is telling us to do but never actually going and doing what Jesus told us to do? Do we believe that church is a place you go? Or did Jesus mean for it to be who we are as His children? Aren’t we as followers of Jesus the church? Isn’t Jesus coming back for His bride? Those that have accepted Him into their heart and are saved. He doesn’t give us names of buildings he’s coming back for..No He says His church..His followers..


So what then does that mean for those of us that follow Him? We are following Jesus to become more like the image of Jesus to the world right? So then how do we do that? Do we just keep the church full of Pharisees and keep out the tax collectors? Read Matthew 25:31-46..In this Jesus is saying you want to find me and be my church then go serve and love the “tax collectors” if your wondering who exactly who would be the tax collectors of our day? They are the outcasts, the ones you wouldn’t dare think of letting in “your” church buildings...The strippers, homosexuals, drug addicts, homeless people, alcoholics, convicts and the list continues. What kind of “church would that be right, if we dared let a stripper dressed in her attire sit in one of our pews, that’s just not right!..Or is it? Isn’t that what Jesus commands us to do? Since when do we make the rules? Why do we think we can make a list of rules about who gets to come in our “buildings”? When Jesus said you are my church, isn’t our “bodies” the temple of the Holy Spirit which means the Holy Spirit lives in us not in a building..So for that stripper to see Jesus, folks she is going to have to see it in the church..And that means in US..And that means we are going to have to take it outside the comfort of our buildings and go find them..Jesus did..He met the woman at the well, He didn’t wait for her to come meet Him in a building somewhere..He went to her..He sought her out..

Did He snarl His nose up at how she was dressed or slam her for her reputation? Nope he simply asked her for a drink of water and then talked to her; he made conversation with her..He met her right where she was. He went straight for her heart and it change her life..So then as followers of Jesus..His church..Aren’t we commanded to do the same? Instead of sitting in our nice comfortable churches..Hearing sermon after sermon, attending bible study after bible study...When will it finally hit you that Jesus said GO be the church? That those that Jesus commands us to reach are out there on the outside waiting and not seated in your pews because we as the church have made them believe they aren’t worthy to come inside? How many more bible studies do you need before you realize that Jesus is saying pick up your cross and FOLLOW me. Follow Him into the streets where strippers are, follow Him into the woods where homeless people sleep, follow Him into the prisons where convicts wait, follow Him into a orphanage where orphans cry, follow Him into foreign countries to preach His gospel, follow Him wherever He leads because that is BEING His church.

Will it get uncomfortable, you better believe it..But when did this become about our comfort? When did following Jesus become about us? Its not about us folks, it’s about God, everything we do with our lives should be to glorify Him and Him alone. Does that mean I am saying you should stop going to church building, No..But I am saying that I think we need to take a long hard look at what exactly that means and ask God to reveal to us if we are simply wasting our lives by only “going” to church and never actually “being” the church. We need to realize that as a follower of Jesus, we are indeed His church and that means we should be carrying that always to a lost and dying world, that it means not just getting up on a Sunday morning to rush to church and on the way you pass by a homeless person on the side of the road and yet you failed to stop because you were in a hurry to “get” to church instead of actually “being” the church ..And in doing so you missed the one you were in such a hurry to learn about, love, serve, and see……….JESUS

Is it Worth It??............

Is the question I heard on the other end of the receiver as I was telling my mom about my mission trip to Uganda in September. It burned through my heart like fire..How could she ask me that? Does she not understand why I am going? Has she not seen what goes on there? It saddens my soul to know that so many go on about there daily lives unaffected by a hurting world around us and I too admit I was once one of those people, I was oblivious to the fact that I had so much and took so many things for granted, I too was a spoiled American. We so often forget that even the poorest American is considered “spoiled” in many parts of the world. And then I began to pray, I began to ask God to give me a heart like His, I wanted to see people the way He sees them, I wanted to care about the things He cared about, and He answered that prayer and my life will never be the same..

I can’t eat a meal or feed my children without seeing images and hearing cries of starving children in this world. I can't play with my children without thinking about the lonely orphans wishing they too had a family, I can’t lie in bed at night without images of a homeless people filling my mind wishing they too had a place to lay their head. I can’t buy a stick of gum without thinking to myself is it worth it? Is it worth it to waste this money on gum while a child somewhere hasn’t eaten for days? I am haunted by these images and so many more everyday, every second of my life, because I prayed to have a heart and eyes like my Daddy. There are times I wish I could just have my old eyes and heart back..But the other part of me knows it’s needed..Jesus didn’t want to go to the cross, He cried out in the Garden ..Father is their another way? He knew what was ahead of Him..The pain, the torment, but I think the hardest for Him was to know He was about to see the images and feel the pain in his heart..Images of our sin flashed before His eyes..And He saw what would become of us if He didn’t go through with the cross..And with a heavy heart He went.Through the mocking He heard..Is it worth it?...Is this beating worth it? Is this pain worth it? Through the spit and laughter..maybe just for a moment He did wonder and turned His head toward heaven and asked…Father is this worth it? And then His eyes met the ones who would choose Him ..And from the core of His being He whispered…Yes they are more than worth it…

And now He is asking us the same question..Are the orphans worth it? Are the homeless worth it ? Poverty and places like Uganda exist because God is waiting for His children to listen to His call to GO and be His hands, feet, heart, mouth, arms..His Body to a lost and dying world…I am aware of the things that could happen to me when I travel to Uganda..I learned a long time ago that to Live is to Live for Christ and to die is gain because I get to spend eternity with Christ..Either way I win;) Its in the orphans, the widows, the homeless, and the outcast that Jesus said, you want to find me?.. then come to me here..This is where I will be…waiting for you...I have looked into the eyes of an orphan and it was there that I seen the face Jesus and I can say with everything in me that IT IS WORTH IT!.......

" I am with you always" Matthew 28:20

This is a picture of Morgan's softball coach at their end of the season pool party, Morgan hugged him and this is the image that was left!! How awesome is that?!?! Jesus wanted some pool time fun too!! hehe;) this seriously made me cry!! and I hope it blesses you as well!!:)