It all started 11 years ago in a pool hall, we had been set
up on a blind date and I had no idea what to expect. But when I seen him walk
in and our eyes met, I just knew that this would be the man I would marry
someday. And that "someday" would happen quicker than we realized.
Five months into our relationship we found out I was pregnant, and life came to
a halt.. Adoption? Abortion? Could we possibly keep it? Our minds were racing
and we were weighing all the options, I was a senior in high school and he was
in his early 20s, we were just babies ourselves and we hardly even knew each
other, how in the world could we raise a child together.
We both made the
decision to keep the child and nine months later, our first daughter Morgan was
brought into this world. It was the best thing that could have ever happened to
us. But the next ten years would challenge our marriage like never before.
Neither of us knew anything about marriage or how to make one work, and instead
of looking for help we just continued what we had been taught you do in a
marriage, argue and demand that the other person meet your needs and when they
don't, look for other sources to "meet" your needs.
It wasn't long before
we both were sucked in a downward spiral of addictions. Adam was gone a lot of
the time and I was lonely and my heart ached for someone, anyone to fill that
void, and it wasn't long before I stepped into the darkness of infidelity and
it was a web that tangled me in so many different ways, making it impossible to
free myself, I was giving my heart away to everyone but the one I had promised
it too.. Which lead to both of our hearts had being given away to everyone and
everything but each other.
Over the course of
our marriage we were burned by the flames of numerous affairs, an porn
addiction, eating disorders, job losses, financial strain, and three separations.
Which in our society today would prove to destroy any marriage. So why not
ours?
I truly believe it’s
because we also learned something through all of this, that Love is not a
"feeling" nor something you demand. It’s something you CHOOSE to
commit to every single day for the rest of your lives. It’s a commitment you
make every day to wake up and choose to lay your life down for another.
"Love is patient, Love is kind, and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude, never selfish, not quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face, there is no limit to its faith, its hope and endurance. In a word there are three things that last forever: faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
We allowed God to use these words to transform us, so that He could in return transform our marriage and allow it to become our life mission to live out these words in our marriage for all to see, That there IS HOPE no matter what battlefield you are your spouse are walking through, Marriage is not a fight, but it IS worth fighting for, and thats a PROMISE;-)
Me and my husband will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this year and looking back over everything we have been through and where we are now, I am so thankful that we fought for our marriage and it is so worth it to be married to my best friend and have the honor of dancing many more years with him through the minefields. And then to have the Lord bless us with four of the most incredible kids ever, was just icing on the cake!;-)
We have a passion and desire to use our story to instill hope into broken and struggling marriages and for them to see that there is always Hope waiting for them, Just be willing to take that first step into the battlefield and declaring that YES my marriage IS worth fighting for!